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Senior
Member,
This
is a most personal account of a brave, delightful and stubborn woman.
Kathy Noble is made of tough stuff. Born just before World War
II – she just didn’t live through the bombing of
But she also began to wonder about her own life. Although it
would take another 50 years to complete what she knew at six years of age – that
her sex and gender were not the same.
And so her life journey to become the woman she really was
began at six when Kathy finally transitioned in 2001.
So it is not surprising that after a lifetime of waiting for
something that she would discover that transitioning, including the drugs,
hormones and surgery was the easy bit.
What followed has become her personal quest.
This book is about Kathy’s life – her wonderful journey to become who she really
is. And who is that? A woman who just won’t accept discrimination and
unfairness.
Kathy writes of two unfair and discriminatory aspects of
current laws.
The first is that despite her gender recognition certificate
from the
While I was Queensland Anti-Discrimination Commissioner, in
2009, I sought to highlight both the unfairness and possible discrimination of
this hurtful and unwarranted legislation. I wrote to the Attorney General,
noting that:
The
ADCQ is of the view that while an amendment of this type will only affect a very
small proportion of the Queensland population, for that small group it will have
a significant benefit in helping ‘some of them to achieve legal recognition of
their gender identity in their place of birth’.
This is particularly so for individuals born in the
So far, this unfair provision remains. In this book, Kathy carefully explains
what is necessary and how simple it would be to remove this unnecessary
discrimination.
If dedication and commitment mean anything, Kathy will have
success soon. When you read her story I am sure you will agree.
Finally Kathy speaks on behalf of another small group: transgender people who
wish to stay married after they have transitioned. Seems fair to me, it is
consistent with the Universal Declaration of Human Rights that allows every
human the right to marry and form a family. Staying married when the people in
that marriage wish to do so – is both fair and right.
This book is one woman’s most personal story. It is a story of
hope and humour. And along with her readers it can be a triumph – we need to
work with Kathy to ensure that the legal rights of transgender people are not
left to just a few of the brave and dedicated like Kathy but all of us. We need
to ensure our community is inclusive and non-discriminatory.
So congratulations to all who have supported Kathy’s story –
her family, her friends and the community. Let’s ensure that hers is personal
triumph too. My personal and sincere congratulations are to you, Kathy. Our lives are richer for your magnificent contribution.
Written by Phil/Julia Crawshaw
[The Seahorse Society N.S.W. INC.]
‘Men are born to dream – women are born to nurture and encourage those dreams to
happen.’
Kathy has done both. She has dared to dream – and has spent her life nurturing
others and helping them find their own dream.
In life, we all face the journey through experiences, the joy
and sorrow, the highs and lows, even the cross that some bear – to face
challenges and make new direction changes when encountering some of these cross
roads of life. Now looking back into her own personal history; Kathy shares a
life journey and experiences in her biography, where she describes her own
personal experiences, challenges and decisions made; even when cross roads were
found, and still even today, being negotiated.
I congratulate you now my dear friend; you have found and
achieved your “dream of many years ago” that is, to discover and accept your
complete self, and “To be and become – who I truly am”.
Keep on keeping on. With much regard and thanks.
INTRODUCTION
I had been married at 18 whilst in the RAF and started to give into my feelings
of wrongness by cross-dressing as every opportunity presented itself. I wore my
wife’s clothes, until I started buying my own. In 1956 our son was born, but in
1957, at one year and one week old, he died. From that point on I used to
present as a pregnant female until our daughter was born in 1958.
In 1957 I was in the centre of
This book is based on my feelings, my problems, my issues and
my research. It may not be what everyone who is transsexual has encountered
because we are all different in our approach to this problem, as well as our
individual metabolisms all being different.
If people wish to question what I have written, it is their
right to do so, but by the time they do, I may well be long gone from this life.
I make no apologies for what follows as it is, as I said my
account of how, this whole medical phenomena affected me personally. I wish and
hope that you all have the same outcomes as I have arrived at. The fact is that
the last years belong to Kathy, and I thank all of my family for making that
possible, but most of all Frank, for making it at all possible.
Later you will read where I consider that he virtually killed
himself in order for Kathy to emerge. He had lost a long and protracted war with
his/her demons. The demons of Transsexualism finally won after 63 years when I
finally came out to my partner.
The loss of loved ones and for many being ejected from their
family into an unknown world, for no other reason than being born into the wrong
body, due to a quirk of nature. They now have to rely on the support and
understanding of their peers and support groups.
I was very fortunate in that this did not happen to me, as my
family supported me. However, I did lose my partner due to a car accident, who
strange as it may seem, I dearly loved, as I do all of my family and do not
regret having gone down this path. That statement will be looked upon as
diametrically opposed to what I later write, because a lot of people will
question how a trans woman can love and marry a natal woman, have children and
enjoy the family atmosphere, but that is what we do, in the hope that it will
cure our problems. This is because we bury the feelings of transness for as long
as we are able to in the vain hope of finding, not just love, but an answer to
our problems. In my case I did this until I was 63, a very long time to hide
those demons.
I see it happen all too often to people around me because of not explaining what
is wrong with us from when we realise that we are different. We dare not express
these problems to parents, siblings or friends because of lack of understanding
and ridicule. Add to this the very strong possibility of several types of abuse,
and perhaps you will realise why we bury the truth that is inside of us, and
only we know what the inevitable outcome will be. Later in life we do not allow
partners and family the time to come to terms with this problem. We have lived
with it for years and have made some horrendous mistakes because of looking for
love as a solution and also a way of suppressing the demons. Many of us have
married, had children and in some cases grandchildren, when in all truth we
should not have gone down this path.
We openly blame society for this as it expects us to be male
or female, but our brain/gender tells us otherwise, so we make these horrendous
mistakes in order to appease society. We also do it in order to cover our real
feelings of wrongness, in the hope that they will wash away our fears and
problems. Wrong, they always catch up with you in the end and we now have a
great deal of explaining to do to those that we really do love.
People invariably ask, “Why did you do this and create a
family? Why did you wait so long before changing?” My answer is that for most of
us it is in the vain hope that it will assuage those demons. It does not, so we
have exacerbated these problems beyond belief, just in order to hope that we can
totally deny what we are.
The end product for most of us is the fact that we eventually
can no longer face the inevitable, that we must transition to our true self, or
die. In doing so, most of us hurt loved ones who we have never intended to hurt.
We have been selfish in our quest for our true self, and in so doing make some
huge mistakes. I know we should have been open and honest and told them from day
one what our true feelings are, but society at large does not allow this. When
and if it ever does, then truly we will be at the point of understanding fully
what drives us. Until then, we have to continue to live not just for ourselves,
but for those that we truly love. This is unfortunately for us to live, as the
opposite for many will be a life bereft of love with the very strong possibility
of attempted or achieved suicide, the feelings are that strong.
In the future these problems will not arise, as society as a
whole comes to understand us and comes to terms with the fact that humans are
not just simply male or female, that there are so many combinations between that
cover sex/gender/sexuality that must be taken into account.
Through lack of knowledge, understanding and empathy from
society at large, we are forced to live in denial of our true self. This is
further exacerbated by the people we have to deal with in order to be recognised
for who we really are. Our lives could be made so much easier if both the
medical fraternity and the politicians could come to understand us more and
legislate to cover our problems and in so doing make our lives so much easier.
I consider it to be extremely lax of all governments in
We are welcomed as permanent residents after Sex Re-assignment
Surgery (SRS) being ratified via form 283, Certificate of evidence of resident
status and are granted amended citizenship status when we are allowed to apply
as we are now required to have an amended birth certificate. However, under
current legislation that is not enough to be recognised in the State/Territory
that we now reside. All this actually does, is to create us as second class
Australians.
This government intransigence causes untold harm to many
people who if officially recognised would not suffer the problems they do.
This is an extract from the letter from the Anti
Discrimination Commissioner to the Queensland Attorney-General.
Reassignment of Sex and the Births, Deaths and Marriages Act
2003.
In 2003 the Queensland Parliament passed the Births, Deaths
and Marriages Act which contained a number of provisions of significant
importance to the transgender community in
They are not affected by or educated in Transsexualism and do
not appear to wish to become either. It would be nice if they put down the
platitudes they espouse and try to understand us without the extreme denigration
that they offer up.
Please remember that the only professional involved here is
one who has gone through this harrowing experience of being transsexual. No
amount of reading, or writing papers on this subject, can ever make up for the
“Real life experience” if they have not gone through this and understand all of
the implications, they cannot qualify to sit in judgement on us!
Governments move people about from department to department if
they are becoming too close to understanding our problems, even in some small
way. This is done to make sure that legislation is deemed to be in the best
interest of government, not the transsexual community.
I wish you all love and peace in the hope that not too many suffer from this
affliction. It is something that I would not wish on my worst enemy, and truly
feel for other transsexuals coming through, especially the really young, who are
only now being really considered, as to how they can be helped.
Dedication
As a Trans
woman, I have been selected as one of the many women to represent
“I
dedicate this to all Trans women as they strive to reach their known gender/sex.
I also dedicate it to those who are repeatedly abused physically, sexually and
mentally. To those who, are denied their rights to change their documentation,
or are incarcerated in prison and left to the problems that will present. I
dedicate this to those who suffer from all forms of frustration, depression and
legal abuse. Most of all I dedicate this to those who are “bashed, raped,
murdered and suicide due to the untold pressures we face”
We need
compassion and empathy to understand our many problems. We are not complex. It
is the system that creates the complexities.
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